Things to ponder

My Neopets & their pets =)


Have you ever own a neopet before?

Okay, nowadays netpets no longer a happening stuff youngster would spent their precious time on. But times back to poly year two when i first owned one....i spent most of my boring/nothing-better-do-to spare time on these. Haha, still named the pets after xiaobai. (who is xiaobai?) When you are much younger, you juz have alot of time to waste ba. Why suddenly talking abt neopets then? Haha, i muz say after grad i haven feed/logged into the site until my sis asked one day if i owned or heard of neopets. Geez....My pets are still alive, unlike my real pets whom neber stay at my side 4ever....but in dying status.

Think will feed my chiisaishiroi & chiisai_shiroi these days.....as long as i still rem to log in.

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Last week was kinda happening. Nope, nope....not exciting. My life is not exciting & interesting though i envied & look upon to my friend's lifestyle.

My ma's leg was having some prob. You know, trust me....though you always seen emails or heard things such as "cherish the loved ones around/family" you will juz continue take things for grated. I take my friends for grated, so as my family members. I din contact all my friends & keeping in touch wif each & everyone is a tedious task to do. Right, anyway back to my ma. So the shocking news juz came tt my ma cannot move one of her legs & it was painful even to lift it up. Alot of things came into my head. "Is this kidding?" "There's no warning sign" "Is this the end of her health tt she cant move anymore?"

Well, there are warning signs all along. She always grumble abt her legs swollen & pain for yrs. I do bought alot of creams, oil & plaster,etc but my sub-conscious tells me tt nothing serious will happen. Okay, tt was the time you regret y you din do more things before.

Lucky, my ma recovered after few days.

Not trying to make things scary...folk, do cherish your parents cos they are your loved ones. Loved ones meaning the ones whom will look out for you & concern abt you no matter wat. Without these pple, with/without your existence in this world....no one will give a damn as the world will still turn & pple still moved on without you, except the loved ones.

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Next happening thing....actually i call it happening cos these are life learning lessons which strike me. Ha, juz alot of things to ponder.

Got my PA (performance appraisal) last week with my manager & my reporting officer. My RO was asking if i wanna convert to perm so she can propose to mgr & they will write a recommendation letter to HR, to conduct interview with me. If , if i passed the HR interview, i'm able to convert with increment in my sal...

See? Long process to get a perm job right. Yes indeed. My cols ard me did not get their perm position easily. One worked 3 yrs & wanna quit b4 she gets it. The one facing me still proposing the convertion each yr till now. And for me, i'm lucky cos i haven wk for a yr....and it was my RO whom ask me several times. But, the word "yes" is almost equally heavy as "I do" in marriage. Laugh if you want to. The yes word juz cant come out from my mouth, even though my heart is shaken & not determine at all.

My killer weakness is not determine and well, i dunno where is my passion in. I dun see myself working long term in tt co & yet i cant explain wat i really wanna do. Slap me, alot of pple would say "then wk few yrs and left" This is the hard part. After convertion, i heard my future involvement will be more projects, costing & things i dislike doing for years. But, if i leave after contract, like wat they said....it's hard to get perm job elsewhere, gotta start all over again & i dun have value.

Told my mgr & RO maybe will get jobs tt involved events or F&B....or entertainment/leisure (this is not exposed to them cos i knew it's unrealistic). Anyway, all seem unrealistic to them cos my mgr juz pour tons of cold water onto me tt these dun suit me & i'm not up to the job due to my personality. Yes, i'm nt a out-spoken person nor enjoy meeting pple. But i takes pride in jobs & wanna to complete undone task. I dun believe out-spoken is a must thing to do other areas of job right? Even event jobs oso need admin pple rite for instance?

He oso said marketing job is for pple out-spoken pple & not for pple whom nod their heads onli....PLEASE! I'm juz answering Qs tt i'm from marketing, i din say i wanna find marketing job loh. Though i agree his points. He mentioned i'm still at development stage-learning new things & onli when i moved to nxt stage i can be contributor whom helps in develop the job model, etc.

"you wont be doing juz billing billing billing, of cos if you wanna join meeting you can, provided you dun contribute rubbish...."

In the end, i rejected to be converted cos he dun see my view. I'm not as wat he precieved "Haven learn to walk, wanna fly"

Yes, i know i'm in developing stage, tt's y i wanna develop the right things involving my interest & i neber think of attending meetings & be contributor straight away loh! And from the conversation, i sensed tt he dun recognised my efforts in work, though my RO kept hard-selling me. He juz pissed-off tt i should count more than lucky tt someone offer a perm position yet i still dun appreciate the precious offer.

Right, i'm a fool. Yet i strongly think a fool can be happy oso. After working till 10pm daily & end of the day do i really make full use of my life? I dun think so.

Yeah, finish my contract & wander aimlessly seem foolish enough. I hope i can really find a job tt keep me for years & i oso dun wanna adapting new environment frequently too.

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Friday going to taiwan. I wanna to rest, enjoy & rethink alot of things.

For those whom know wat their passions. Be blessed.

One of my passions is tarot cards. Maybe can be a tarot master? ha.....

Or juz sell food in student canteen. -_-"