Nothing but some thoughts...

Long time...

Didn't post entry in my blog.
Didn't contact my ex-colleagues, whom tired of asking me out for dinner.
Didn't buy newspaper,except for saturdays.
Didn't surf net properly....errmm, i mean free n easy surfing, tt's count.
Didn't find a job, i need a job but jobs on the papers juz dun appeal to mi.
Didn't like/admire someone, the passion feel of past memories seem fading.
Didn't wear properly, i mean presentable way or rather dressing like an adult.
Last but not least, cos i knew there's more coming up...
Didn't contact my frenz.

So, wat am i doing all these while?

Have you ever try staring at your hp, seeing ur fren nos blinking...
Calling to have a chat or something but u juz stare at the screen & b4 you know it, the blinking & music stopped.

I got a habit of "missing call" pple...Some of my frenz whom always got this signal knew my style alreadi. To all my frenz out there, though i knew they wont be seeing this page anyway...I juz wanna let u noe tt missing ur calls not meaning i hate you or dislike chatting wif u. The reasons might be the timing is juz not right- calling while i was watching tv, in deep conversation wif my sis, rushing through dvds/drama, or simply i dun have the mood in any conversation. Sometimes when i was indeed missing the call, no one believe anyway. For those whom neber recieved my reply on sms in the past, i can onli say i was reali indulged in my work n by the time i read the message, it's too late.

Sometimes, i juz wan a personal time zone...with no one disturbing u, no need to care or worry abt the surrounding.

Recently, realised my "missing calls" is gettin more serious. For instance, my past chatting kakis, one of my frenz whom i would complain to...but she got more involved with her cols & our friendship isn't so sincere now. I dun like three friends together each with different secrets yet pretend nothing happened. Would she did the same to me? Am i a fool to her or rather the two of them? Yes, i was always happy-go-lucky kind n making a fool of myself. This is the happy times with frenz but if they realli think i'm juz a fool whom knw nothing, they juz haven seen the other side of mi.

Some time back, one of my ex-project mates in campus sms mi for dinner gathering on coming sat. It was a class gathering... Initially i agreed cos i didnt meet up ever since grad. Everytime hi & bye doesnt mean anything right? However, when days passed & i regreted. Suddenly i became the organiser too, to contact everyone when one couldn't make it. Kinda pissed off... My year two classmates, i wasn't close with any of them except my own grp mates so i dun give a damn whether they r coming. Actuali the reason i agreed to turn up is onli to have casual chat wif my grp mates. But my grp mates depending mi for everything. I juz send a sms saying to count mi out. And i missed two calls...

Do i realli care abt these frenz? i asked. Maybe not, these not-so-close frenz i do wish to catch up but not necessary. Everyone have their own lifestyle now, they live happily ever after without my presence...so, it doesn't realli matter.

Not tt i dun value my surrounding or frenz, juz...i dunno.
When ur age gettin older day by day, u dun realli care so much compared to teenager period, agreed? I used to mind my action, the way my hair look in sch, the way i tok...i still mind but, more in an open-minded concept. Ha, well...neber mind.

These few days of doing nothing, allowing things to happen in my daily life...such as thoughts n reflections,etc.

Realised i dun realli have lots of frenz which most think i have.
Not much talents, not much passion.